Seeing as it's almost Valentine's Day and there's a lot of l-o-v-e in the air, I thought I would do a fun feature about dating and what I've learned over the years. I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm engaged with a little boy on the way so I guess I've done pretty well for myself! Here are just a few things that have worked for me, or that I've learned the hard way and want to pass on to you lovely people now!
 |
| Source: Pinterest |
I think the first and most important thing to remember is: just because it didn't work out with someone before, doesn't mean you won't find someone who adores you in the future! I like to think of it like wiping the slate completely clean in order to start all over again. So after you've had a weep, ate your bodyweight in chocolate/ice-cream/whatever food that makes happy, a mope around, convincing yourself that you'll never be happy again... THEN you can move into the I'M FREE stage and planning your exciting reinvention. When I broke up with the person I was with before Craig, who didn't make me feel that good about myself, my confidence was at rock bottom, so I completely overhauled my life. I cut him off, changed my job which I also wasn't happy with, I changed my hair colour, I went out to different places and met different people, I changed pretty much everything I had in my power to, and wanted to, change, and two months later I met Craig. Coincidence? Possibly, but I definitely think mentally erasing the negativity and starting over gave me the confidence to move on a lot quicker than I might have had I not done those things. As I said, just because one person didn't like you, doesn't mean that the next person that comes along isn't going to either! You never know what or who is around the corner. I had actually just vowed to everyone that I was going to be single and have a brilliant time for a year, just before I met Craig. Exactly one year later I was living with him and had a ring on my finger. I could never have predicted that would happen, and you can't predict that the same won't happen to you either!
I touched on confidence just there, and I would like to point out that it's a very good thing to have, but tread the fine line between being happy with yourself and arrogant. You know how you're immediately put off by someone who is really vain or love themselves a bit too much? It works the other way around as well! Be yourself: dress in a way that makes you feel you accentuate your best features (as opposed to blindly following trends), do your make-up in the way you feel makes you look your best, do anything that makes you feel good, and your confidence will probably come pretty naturally from there. Just be your lovely, happy self, and you'll be fine!
 |
| Source: weheartit |
A lot of girls wonder how they know if someone likes you. Basically, if he's talking to you, even if he knows you might have a crush on him, you're probably on the right lines. I think you always know when someone really likes you, and if you're being nice to him, he'll be less afraid to put himself out there and go for it. For example, I wasn't the easiest person to get in contact with when Craig and I first met (I'm pretty bad at remembering to text or ring back). Whenever he did manage to contact me though, I was always nice and always showed up to the date positive and interested in getting to know him, which in turn encouraged him to ask me out more. Remember how I said just be your lovely, happy self? If you're mean, then he's probably not going to be willing to risk being knocked back in some humiliating fashion, and so won't make a move. Keep negativity to a minimum. I always hated it when boys put themselves down in front of me because it's so awkward, and I'm sure it works the other way around. Even worse than talking mean about yourself is talking about other people. If you're publicly saying horrible things about your ex, especially on the internet - newsflash: the new boy that likes you will check you out on Facebook and Twitter, he will see what you've said about your ex and then he will run a million miles in the opposite direction, because he knows that one day, he's probably going to be the target of some brutal Facebook rant, and who wants that? Even if you did have the worst ex boyfriend in the entire world, he doesn't need to know about it, at least in the early stages. You wiped the slate clean remember, therefore it doesn't matter anymore. It can actually feel more liberating to let things go rather than plotting your revenge!
To summarise: having confidence and just being happy with yourself and with your own company is half the battle. The worst thing you can do is
depend on someone else for your own happiness or to stick with someone who treats you badly just because you don't like the thought of being single. Not only is this a huge
responsibility for your partner, it's a very sufficating situation for
both of you. He shouldn't tell you that you can't do something or go
somewhere, as you shouldn't do with him. If he wants a boys night out,
let him do it. It's a brilliant excuse to invite a friend over, even if it's just for a quick cup of tea, to have a good chat, just the two of you. I look forward to those nights! It's healthy for your
relationship to have your own ambitions, dreams and life outside of him. There are two people in the relationship and your needs and happiness are equally as important as his. I think a lot of people forget that, I certainly have done in the past. Relationships are rarely perfect, mine isn't - we wind each other up something rotten. The difference is that we always end up laughing because the argument becomes so petty and I'm really sarcastic anyway and I'll make some sort of stupid sarcastic insult which makes him laugh and then I'll laugh and hey presto we're friends again. No relationship is without arguments and you will have bumps in the road. In short: don't have unrealistic expectations and think that just because it isn't like it is in the movies and you wind each other up and you've discovered that he has some not very nice bad habits, doesn't mean your relationship is doomed - this is called real life, and it is normal! Don't worry!
I hope you enjoyed this feature, I think this is the first advice-y post I've made so it's something a little different, do let me know if you would like to see more of these kind of features on my blog! Cheerio!
I see a bit of a pink theme here, which wasn't intentional! I guess I like a bit of colour in my life during the gloomy winter months. Starting from the left, the first product is Soap & Glory Mist You Madly body spray. I've got to say I'm not usually a body spray kind of person and I usually use perfume but I really like this and the other two scents that were in the set. It's very girly, I've been using this one pretty much everyday. It's musky without being too heavy, I have mentioned before that heavy, strong fragrances are not my thing and this is not too overpowering for me. Next is Urban Decay Glide-On Cheek Tint in Quickie. This looks like a very scary clown-like hot pink at first, however, because of the creamy texture of it you can build up the colour however you want. I just put a little on and blend it into my cheeks for a more natural look. The Ted Baker lip pen came in the A Star is Born gift set at Christmas. I mix this with a bit of lipbalm to give it a glossier look, it's a really nice colour. I don't normally use colour on my lips so I'm trying to be a little more adventurous! I've already done a review on the Sleeproller's which you can find here. The Benefit Badgal Lash Mascara makes my eyelashes very thick and very black. I know that sounds obvious but some mascaras don't really make your eyelashes that dark. The brush is bigger than most other mascaras I've tried but it does the job! The pink moisturiser there is The Body Shop Vitamin E Moisture Cream. I use this every morning and I use the matching evening cream before bed too. Both of them work really well with my skin which can get dry in winter. The texture of this is almost like a gel, it is quite 'watery' (I can't think of another suitable word haha) and feels lovely, cool and moisturising on my skin. Another Soap & Glory product I've loved this month is the Peaches & Clean 4-in-1 Cleansing Milk. This smells exactly like peach yoghurt, which is my favourite flavour of yoghurt, so I've been loving using this just to smell it! You may notice I'm obsessed with smells at the moment, just another side-effect of pregnancy haha. I use this cleanser on an evening to take my make-up off, however it isn't suitable to remove eye make-up. It's creamy and leaves skin feeling moisturised. Lastly, is a gem that my mam actually discovered, it's a bath mallow from Bomb Cosmetics and everything from this brand is so pretty I'm quite reluctant to pop them in the bath! There's so much detail in these that it seems a shame to dissolve them! They smell gorgeous and there's so many to choose from, have a look at their range on the website and try to choose just one you want to try!
I was took into the hospital today for an emergency scan. We weren't due to find out the sex of the baby for another week but I had to go in today as I had some cramping and started bleeding last night. I can't describe the most awful feeling that you get when you discover blood when you're pregnant. Even though the risk of miscarriage is very low after the twelve week mark, you're still filled with panic and imagine the worst. My mam told me that in this scenario they have to listen in to see if there's still a heartbeat, I was in bits waiting to see if we could still find one. Craig had to be the strong one whilst we waited even though he was worried as well. Thankfully a very good, strong heartbeat was found almost immediately. I don't think I've ever been so relieved! So this morning I was squeezed in for a scan, which I really appreciated them doing as they were very busy today, and it looks like we have a tail there haha! So it looks like we're having a boy! It was quite a thorough scan, all the organs look like they've developed normally and the placenta is where it should be. So far so good. She couldn't see the spine as little baby Flynn was too comfortable lying where he was and wouldn't co-operate and roll over but I have a few more scans to go anyway. I can't remember if I mentioned that I'm having more scans in my previous posts, it's just to check that he's growing properly as I'm slightly underweight. I've always found it hard to put weight on and it's never been a problem before as everyone who knows me know I eat like a horse and I'm not ill because of it, it's just that it's pretty essential that I put a certain amount on whilst I'm pregnant! I thought it would happen naturally but it didn't for the first few months, so I've seen a dietitian and hopefully after following her advice I've put a little more on now. I just hope that the bleeding was just an isolated incident and that it won't happen again. I know that from reading other women's blogs that the bleeding thing is quite common but it's still scary when it happens to you because it can be brought on by so many different things and I've read so many different outcomes. I'd just done some pregnancy yoga so it's possible it was just something as simple as that, that triggered it. But the most important thing is that from what we seen today, everything seems to be fine!
I mentioned not too long ago that I'd bought a couple of Original Source shower gels and I was obsessed with this one in particular, or more specifically the smell of it, just like pick n mix sweeties! It's been great to use over the winter period as it's very creamy and moisturising and it made my bathroom smell lovely. This shower gel is also suitable for vegans so it doesn't contain any nasty ingredients. I would definitely buy this again, it's a gorgeous product and it's a bargain! The 250ml bottle is £2.30 from Boots. Visit the Original source website here.
1. Spiders
I think Craig genuinely thought I'd gone into a premature labour the other night when he heard my screams from the bathroom caused by the ugliest looking creature I've ever seen in my life! This spider was red, had massive jaws and a pointy bum which looked suspiciously like a sting. I've never seen anything like it in my life - at least not in this country! I can just about get away with the regular standard black house spiders as long as they're removed quickly but this was something else! Apparently (according to our research) it was a woodlouse or a 'hunting' spider. Shudder. Anyway, that is fear number one..
Is it weird that I've held tarantula's and not created a massive scene like the one above though? They were actually really soft and not that scary once I got used to them being there..
2. Real Life Documentaries
I've seen too many documentaries about how people get stalked and then brutally murdered, or how children get abducted and live in a random person's basement for 18 years before being found. It scares me that they even happened somewhere in the world in the first place, so moral of the story - watch less TV?
3. Being Sick/Diseases
Yes, I realise nobody actually enjoys being sick but I've always had a weird thing about germs and getting ill. I'm not OCD but I just like to make sure everything is clean and disinfected, and as long as I have hand sanitiser with me everywhere I go, I'm usually happy!
4. Heights
Not so much inside buildings and such when you just look out the window, it's more when there's a risk of me actually falling. It really bothered me how the grand canyon never had any barriers for example, that's a LONG fall for anyone who takes a bad step!
5. Deep Water
I'm scared of drowning so really don't like being out of my depth and being dunked under water, a harsh lesson that Craig learned in the swimming baths once when I literally flicked like a drop of water at him then he retaliated by picked me up and throwing me in the water. I was hysterical and I swear the whole room went quiet as all these old ladies tutted disapprovingly at him haha. It's funny now but at the time I was distraught!
6. Bad Things Happening
I think most people have this fear, but I think I get more scared for my family and friends than I do for myself. I try not to think about this too much but I do worry about bad things happening to them
7. Horror
I really don't do well with most scary movies! I rarely watch them, and when I do it's usually because somebody else has persuaded me to!
8. Failure
I really don't like to feel like I've failed at anything. Anything I do, I try to do my best. I'm a bit of a perfectionist but I don't think it's a bad thing, at least I can look back at things like university and know that I did the best I could and not think to myself that I wish I'd put a bit more effort in.
As the title states, I'm having some major growing pains at the moment! I had a tiny little bump for ages then all of a sudden I 'popped'! My tummy still isn't massive compared to other women who are at the same stage as me but I've been told I probably won't have a big baby due to my height and weight.
I didn't go into too much detail in my first post as I'd been pregnant for a while by then and I thought it would be easier to just kind of summarise everything up until that point! I wanted to go into a little more detail about some things now. I read a few pregnancy blogs and I always feel so much better afterwards because I can relate a lot to the girls who write them, so there's no doubt that me recording my pregnancy and sharing my experience for other's to read can only be a positive thing!
So let's start with the interesting topic of my mother being my midwife. This will definitely make the birth a bit different to everybody elses. I know a lot of women have their mother's there, and mine will be too.. she will just be delivering the baby as well! I'm not bothered about my mam being 'down there' and seeing everything as I'm pretty certain that when the time comes I won't care who sees what as long as they get the baby out! Obviously she had to make sure she had permission to do this first, but actually we didn't really have to have a long chat about it, it was pretty much a mutual decision. She's a very experienced midwife who's been delivering babies for a long time and has worked her way up into job positions that give her more responsibility, so I know I'm going to be in very good hands.
I've also decided to start preparing for the birth a little earlier than other's probably do, and this is because I'm prone to a little anxiety and the more I know, the better I feel. So I have stopped reading the awful birth stories courtesy of Google (for my own sanity as well as Craig's) and instead read as much as I can about what to expect, pain relief and how to prepare, as well as what to expect in the first few weeks. I've also decided to sign myself up to a pregnancy class which focuses a lot on yoga in pregnancy, hypnosis and positive affirmations. I'm not really into this kind of thing normally, but I thought it would be interesting to look into. I've spent enough time in hospital to know that staying calm as opposed to letting fear take over tends to make things go a lot quicker and smoother. So anything that is designed to help me relax is a good thing and Craig is really happy that I'm doing it. The
whole point of the course is to try and look at labour as being a calm
and natural experience (although I know I'm definitely not going natural
haha) rather than a scary and painful one! Of course I can't say too
much about this right now but I will report on how effective I think it
was later on.
Now, the moment every expectant mother eagerly anticipates... baby kicked for the first time the other night!! I know at the last scan we seen the baby practically doing somersaults in there but Friday night was the first time I properly felt it moving about. I'd felt 'different' about a week and a half before that, kind of felt like I had butterflies in my tummy but nothing for definite. I thought I was imagining it but now I realise I probably wasn't as most women say they feel the butterfly sensation first before they feel the kicks. On Friday I felt a gentle prod in my tummy so I called Craig over and we just lay there in silence with our hands in the same spot waiting to see if I'd imagined it or not! We both felt it kick again not long after, and I'm so glad he was there so that we could experience that together. I would have been pretty sad if he wasn't there to feel the first kicks with me. I've felt it a couple of times since then but they're very gentle kicks at the moment which will no doubt get stronger in the next few weeks!
Thankfully, a lot of my nasty side-effects have gone away - apart from heartburn, but I have medicine for that which keeps it under control now. After months of non-stop sickness I can finally say it's mostly gone, I only get it occasionally now. I'm more energetic and in a better mood overall now that I'm not ill everyday - much to the relief of my family and friends haha. I mentioned before that I was avoiding going out a lot in case I was ill, and now that I'm better I'm enjoying going out a lot more. I'm not going to clubs (I tried one sober night out in town, despite being warned by my friends with children that it's not fun, and I was demented so will not be doing that again!) but I just like going out to restaurants and to the cinema and seeing my friends while I've got the energy and the time!
