Mammy Blog: One Month Update

I'm in complete awe at how quickly babies grow!

I had Flynn seven weeks ago, and already he's smiling, laughing, 'dancing' (kicking his legs and waving his arms along to music - so cute) and reaching out to touch things. We're very fortunate that he's been able to tell the difference between day and night since about four weeks, so he's awake and alert the majority of the day and we don't usually have much bother getting him to sleep on a night. He's only been waking up once during the night, for up to an hour just to get a bum change and a bottle, for about two weeks. Although for the first couple of weeks it was a killer (especially because when he was a newborn he was waking two or three times a night) I'm used to it now and can function on a few hours sleep at a time.

I'm not going to lie, it hasn't been easy, but the good news is that it gets easier as time goes on. I suffered pretty badly from the baby blues for the first month. I felt like I was going crazy, but was assured it was normal and doesn't necessarily mean it's post-natal depression, and I've started feeling more like my regular self the last few weeks. It's hard to explain the kinds of emotions you go through after having a baby, but my biggest 'thing' was that I felt overwhelmed with all the attention, and I'd actually felt like that for the last few weeks of my pregnancy as well. I went to a big family party a few weeks before I was due and so much of the focus was on me and the bump that I had to leave, and this continued a few weeks after he was born. I regularly left the room when there were a lot of people around not just because the attention was a bit intense, but I also found it difficult to see Flynn being passed around a lot of people. He was all mine for nine whole months and now he was here I didn't want to share him! I still feel like this a bit, but have now let others take over to babysit, so I'm getting better.

I've always been pretty close to my parents but I'm definitely a lot closer to my them now, especially my mam after what we went through together. I feel very lucky that Flynn came into the world with just me, Craig and my mam in the room doing it together. Even Craig says he feels he's got a special connection to her now after that. I feel like I understand them a lot more too, I guess when you become a parent yourself you start to think a lot like them. I also cannot express how glad I am that my mam is an expert on babies and is always around to help, so that puts my mind at rest a lot! You hear so much out-dated advice from people as soon as you have a baby, it's reassuring to have someone who is actually kept up-to-date with what is safe and what isn't recommended for babies on the other end of the phone anytime you need them!

Things are settling down a bit now that Flynn is in a good routine so I hope to be around a lot more!

I Had a Baby!

Before I say anything else, I'm just going to point out that whilst I don't want to scare any pregnant women who may read this, I am going to be honest and if you don't want to know about the details of childbirth then I recommend you don't read any further!

So the last time I updated I knew I was going to get induced just before 40 weeks due to baby's size. Last Thursday (13th), we went to the hospital to find out the plan of action. To try and start labour off, you're given two sweeps, two pessaries and then if none of them have worked then they get you on the drip. I had two sweeps, one on Friday and one on Monday, which resulted in me getting strong Braxton Hicks and signs that my body was preparing for labour, which didn't materalise into established labour. I was dilating a little but not progressing. Over that weekend I was on a mission to try and get myself into labour naturally, but no such luck and I just had to accept I'd be getting induced! I'd heard so many horror stories about induced births and how they're supposed to hurt so much more because your body isn't ready and hasn't had the opportunity to build contractions up, so I really wanted to avoid it. I was pretty upset when I was told I had to check into hospital on Tuesday afternoon for the pessaries to prepare my body for induction on Wednesday morning.

Tuesday afternoon me, my mam (who, for those of you who don't know, was delivering the baby) and Craig got to the hospital at 3:30. I got my pessary inserted at 4pm and Craig and I just hung out in my room. About twenty minutes later I started getting cramping, which I was told was normal, so I tried to ignore it and watched TV and had some food. By 7pm the pains were getting worse so I went in the bath for half an hour which helped - I do see why a lot of people go for water births now! But when I got out and back to the room is when things started to go downhill. The pain was spreading to my back and getting a little hard to take, plus visiting time was over at 8pm and Craig had to leave. My mam left at the same time and said she'd be back in an hour to check on me because she needed to go home to do some things. That next hour on my own was possibly the worst of my life, I must have pushed that orange button that alerts the midwives that you need something about 20 times! They gave me codeine and paracetamol and I kept trying the different positions they were showing me to help with the contractions but nothing was helping. The best way I can describe them is that I was splitting in two, my back was on fire!

So this is where I don't really remember very much - apart from the pain! As soon as I was allowed codeine again I pestered the midwife for another dose and I was pretty much out of it. I kind of did this on purpose as I know codeine makes me drowsy (pair this with the gas and air and I was in la la land, and I'm not going to lie, it was a nice place to be haha). My mam and a team of midwives found me slumped dramatically in my room, I could hear them saying I was 5cm already and that they'll get Craig to come back - he was only at home for an hour! I was then popped into a wheelchair and rushed to delivery. I don't remember how I got out of my clothes and into my hospital gown (I'm sure my dignity was probably lost somewhere during this process), I don't remember having any internal examinations and I don't remember getting my waters broke. I dozed off for most of this stage of labour thanks to the codeine.

One thing I do remember is getting the drip put in and the epidural. I hate needles but I'd been told a few times that when the time came I wouldn't care what they did to me - they were right! Even though I was stabbed all over my hands and arms as the lady failed to find a vein, it still didn't hurt. Then my hero the epidural man vowed to end my suffering and he did. I only knew that he was putting the needle in because Craig and my mam were telling me I was doing really well and gripping my hand! I didn't actually really feel anything. You get a clicky thing to top up the epidural yourself and once I maxed that out and at 10cm three hours later, he came back to give me another lovely big dose to keep me going through the birth.

This took all the pain away completely and that was when I started to perk up and could stop using the gas and air. I spoke to Craig probably for the first time since he burst into the delivery room a few hours earlier and then I started feeling the urge to push. At 12:45 it was just me, Craig and my mam in the room and she said if I was feeling the urge to push then we should get going, so I just bore down whenever I felt the urge to and pushed when she said I was having a contraction. Craig had said all the way through my pregnancy that he was staying at the waist up and didn't want to see anything - he was standing at my left leg while my mam was holding my right one watching the whole thing! I knew he would!

The pushing part was actually the best part of the whole labour for me - my pain was gone, and it was just us three in the room with no screaming (from me) or chaos, and the fact that I knew it was almost over probably helped! 25 minutes of pushing later Flynn popped out and I finally met the little person who'd been kicking and wriggling around in me for so long! He was a little slow to start as the cord was wrapped around his neck so needed some oxygen, it felt like a lifetime before we heard that first cry but in reality it was probably only a minute or so. It was lovely when he was handed back over and he was looking up at me and grabbing my finger, I couldn't (and still can't) stop staring at him!

Finally, mam assessed the damage 'downstairs' and thankfully I didn't tear or need any assistance with delivery so my recovery shouldn't take very long at all. I have a lot of muscular type pain in my pelvis and back but that's it. We are now at home with our little bundle of perfection and I'm loving my new role as a mammy. I can't get enough of him, I get so excited whenever he wakes up because that means it's playtime! Everything he does fascinates me! My hormones however are all over the place and I've already cried my eyes out to Craig telling him I don't want Flynn to get bigger because then he won't make those cute noises when he sleeps anymore (yes he did remind me he is barely 48 hours old), and just realising how much I love him reduces me to tears as well, I can't help it. It's all a bit overwhelming at the moment.

Overall I think I had a pretty positive birthing experience, even though it did hurt and yes, it's true that all reservations go right out of the window during childbirth - I've decided to spare you the gory details but it's pretty much impossible to come out the other end of labour with your dignity still in tact! But it was all worth it to get the end result, a beautiful, perfect little baby boy!

My Baby Shower

Last night was my baby shower!

(Out of shot is the marshmallow tree and chocolate fountain - I've made myself ill from eating so much of it, it was sooo good though haha!)

I knew my friends and family would throw me a good party but I was honestly so overwhelmed by how much effort and thought everybody put in! Mine and Craig's mam hosted it together and it's the first grandchild for both of them so it was extra special.

This is the 'game station' as I quickly nicknamed it, we had quizzes, a baby-food testing game (which I opted out of - I feel sick enough as it is without tasting pureed concoctions), baby bingo and a measure the bump contest. My friend Alex got the measurement of my bump spot on! With prizes, samples and beauty demonstrations with the option to buy nobody left empty handed!

(I haven't had the heart to cut this cake yet, it's too cute)

And then came the presents! I can tell a lot of thought and effort went into all of them. I was trying so hard to wait until Craig came back because I thought maybe we should open them together but I cracked towards the end of the night haha.

Now all that's left to do is wait for bambino to make his appearance into the world! So if I disappear off here and social networks for a while, it's probably because I've popped!

Some Crabtree & Evelyn Goodies

 

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C&E is a brand I've kind of been familiar with for a little while, I've been given bits and bobs from there over the years and I've used the products in hotels (Hilton hotels, to be specific), but I'd never went out of my way to go and shop there myself.

 

My future mother-in-law is the new assistant manager in our local branch, so Craig and I have been a bit nosey and had a pop in to see what kind of things they sell. I always just kind of thought they were just a standard bodycare shop but it turns out that they sell so much more than just lotions and potions for your body!

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First of all, let's talk about the jam. I've never tasted jam as good as this, I'm slightly obsessed with it! They don't have any nasty ingredients in them and perfect at satisfying my sweet tooth at the moment. I think we've got nearly every flavour in our flat, we haven't tried all of them yet but my favourites so far have been the good old raspberry and strawberry. I don't feel they cost much more than what you'd pay at the supermarket but you can definitely taste the difference in quality.

 

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Scented drawer liners - who doesn't love them! These are so pretty in my drawers and the scent is strong but not overpowering. I can't comment on the longevity of them yet but they've been in for a week and the scent hasn't started to fade yet. I think these are about £6 for four generously-sized sheets.

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I have this Pomegranate candle in our bedroom and it is absolutely beautiful. It is on the pricey side (about £25 I believe) but I've said before that I really don't mind paying for quality and candles are one of those things I will pay more money for. What I've noticed about these candles is that they last so much longer because the wax all burns down together. It doesn't do that annoying thing that most other candles do, which is just burning down the middle and leaving all the wax on the sides. I always feel like that's such a waste! I've been using this and several of the mini candles for a good month or so now and they're still going strong, so although it seems expensive on the outset, I definitely feel like I'm getting my moneys worth out of them, and that makes me a happy customer :)

Blog Everyday in May Tag: Top 3 Worst Traits

#24: your top 3 worst traits

My worst trait is definitely not knowing (or knowing, but not caring) when to keep my mouth shut when someone has rattled my cage. My mouth used to run away with me quite a lot more when I was younger, I'd like to think that I'm a lot better at biting my tongue now and able to let the little things go. I get it from my dad, he literally has no filter!

I'm a littleee bit bossy (my nickname when I was little was bossy boots). I'm a perfectionist and like things done a certain way. I don't know how Craig copes to be honest. I do most of the housework not because he won't do it, but because it's not up to my sky-high standards! He'll do something and I'll just do it again the 'right' way. It used to bug me when my mam did that when I was younger but now I've just morphed into exactly the same thing!

Finally, I'm a very straight-to-the-point kind of person which can lead to people thinking I'm a bit harsh when they just want to talk. I really don't mean to be and I can be sympathetic, but a pat on the back isn't going to solve the problem. I like to be more pro-active and find solutions rather than talk something through then not doing anything about it. This is also a quality I get from my mother!

Updates

Phew it has been a crazy week! A lot is happening, mainly baby-wise. He's basically going to be here anytime now, I'm guessing three weeks. My poor bean still isn't even 5lb yet so it's basically crunch time and it's been all hands on deck. It's very likely he'll have to come out within the next two or three weeks so I had to have steroid injections in my bum which can I just point out now is not fun! It stings like a mo-fo for like 10 minutes after whilst all the solution spreads! They are to help his lungs mature because although as of the end of next week he wouldn't be considered a premature baby anymore, his development is 2 weeks behind 'schedule' so they need to make sure that they're strong enough for when he comes out. Anyway, we've spent this week packing the hospital bags, finishing the nursery, preparing for the baby shower and if I'm honest, generally freaking out! I keep wondering what or who he's going to look like? I definitely think he's going to be a mini Craig, if only because at every scan he's been 'showing off' if you get my drift, I'm pretty sure his dad was one of those kids that ran around naked all the time haha.

Anyway, the BEDIMT! I'm missing Monday out because what we're struggling with right now is too depressing and personal to get into right now and Tuesdays because I don't think I've been posting long enough to have any favourites. So I'll jump to Wednesday:

#22: rant about something

I could rant about SO MANY things right now haha! But I'll try to stick to the stuff that annoys me in general rather than what annoys me right now as that is pretty much everything:

1. People riding their bikes in the middle of the lane especially on the dual carriageways. I've seen many a near-miss, they annoy me especially if there's a perfectly good path they can go on
2. People on the road in general actually, and people who have blatantly seen you coming and still walk out slowly like tomorrow would do
3. When people write on FB that there's no need for name calling online, that it's so nasty etc... then you scroll down and they've been calling people names? I don't get it?
4. People who complain about things that they could change but never do anything about it
5. It seems people irritate me a lot..? Oh dear :s this could be the hormones talking right now, I'm sure I never used to get so irritated by these things so easily!

 #23: things you've learned that school won't teach you

Basically everything. I don't believe you learn anything until you start making your own way through life on your own terms and learn through experience. I think when you're young (school-age) you think you have everything figured out but the truth is that not everything works out according to plan. My plans didn't pan out the way I always dreamt they would, but sometimes there's a better path that you'd never considered.

People will try to trample on you to either get ahead (career-wise) or just because they're not very nice people in general, in my experience though that's usually because something bad has happened to them. It took me a long time to realise that! Happy people make other people happy. Instead of getting upset if someone says some not very nice things about you, dig for answers - there's always something that's happened to them that's made them the way they are. It's rarely that personal, unless you know them and have genuinely done something to hurt them, it's just the way they are. Don't sweat. I know that's a hard concept to grasp when you're in school but as you go through life you will start to notice some of the same qualities in people!

You get out of life what you put into it. Don't let anybody (teachers or otherwise) tell you that you can't do something - you can do anything if you work for it!

Blog Everyday in May Tag: Childhood & Favourite Blogs

#18: tell a story from your childhood

There's one memory that really makes me laugh and that was during the school holidays when me and my brother were young, and we started a water fight with my dad outside. It started off with little water guns and eventually esculated into throwing massive buckets of water over each other - the kitchen was practically underwater by the time we were done with it!

#19: your favourite blogs and what you love about them
 Love My Dress Wedding Blog - I literally could spend hours looking through all the wedding photos!
The blogs on about.com are always very useful, literally every topic under the sun is covered on that website
Skinny Taste is where I get a lot of recipe inspiration from